Today I have been sad about the realization that we will be missing Megan's birthday, Rachel's first recital, and not being here for the boys on free comic book day. I feel like there are so many things we miss because we're working on trying to get help for Layne. I want to get him what he needs - but, I also want to be there with and for my kids. I feel like I'm missing out. I know some people would call it silly because we homeschool and I see more of my kids than other people might - but, that doesn't mean I'm fine with missing a birthday or a recital. (Free comic book day - I'm more ok with missing that one. The reason I feel bad about that one is because the boys look forward to it every year and sometimes it has been tricky to work it into the schedule. I only feel bad about it because it's important to them. The other things are important to the child and to me.) I want to be there for the kids and what's important to them. I want to be there for the experiences and the memories.
I feel bad about the things that the kids miss out on in order for us to go do what we need to do. I feel bad that they are forced to make sacrifices for something that they have no control over. It wasn't their choice to have their father have cancer.
No, it wasn't their choice. Nor was it yours or Layne's. I feel bad for them too. There is really nothing helpful to say to this except that I know you are doing the absolute best you can, and the time you are getting together as a family really does count, even if there are things that have to be missed. But I realize it just stinks all around. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to think about you missing these important things too. Cancer just sucks. :-(
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