Remember

It's been three weeks since I watched Layne take his last breath. Yesterday marked two weeks since his funeral. I had a chance to visit his spot in the cemetery for the first time. I cried. It looked lonely. I felt lonely. I had a sentence come to mind. "This is not where I am." I'm not sure if he felt like that would make it all better. At that moment, I felt like a hug would have made it all better. I just wanted him to hold me - but, I knew he couldn't. I think it was his way of reminding me that he's closer than his casket. I felt it was also his way of sharing his testimony again. He wanted me to remember that he is much more than a body that is still filled with cancer. I think what he would want me to remember most of all is that he believes we are an eternal family and he will still be doing his part to make that happen for us. I love him. I miss him. Every. Day.