The Fault In Our Stars

I started reading 'The Fault in our Stars' by John Green today. I may or may not have cried a little before I turned the first page. I think the phrase, "...a side effect of dying" got to me somehow. It's used more than once on the first page. I moved past it. I just had other things I cried about after that. There were also times I chuckled a bit. And still other times I just went with the story. I'm about 100 pages in and will keep going.
It's interesting to read something that reminds me of the struggles of cancer and its treatment. It reminds me of working with and watching a loved one going through the gamut experiences and emotions that come with cancer. It also reminds me of the relationship itself. There are things that can be discussed and laughed about with each other that just don't reach what others understand. I'll be done because I might start missing Layne too much if I keep writing about the way cancer can tear apart and build up a relationship all at the same time.

Last Christmas?

Yesterday our ward did their annual Christmas presentation. I sang with the choir. It was just one number and then a hymn. I chose to sit with the congregation. I didn't realize until after it was too late that I was the only participant that had done that. While I was up there, I had the thought come mind several times that this was going to be Layne's last Christmas. It made it a little hard to sing and I'm pretty sure I didn't help much with the overall sound of the songs. At one point, I thought to stay up there until the meeting ended. There wasn't going to be too much time left. I decided to be a rebel and go back to the bench we were sitting on with the girls and Layne. After that...I wanted to sit by my husband for the remainder of the meeting...just because...it might have been my last chance to do so and I wasn't going to miss it. I'm hoping I didn't disturb things too much.


And...this is what I get for leaving this post open:

DONT WORRY MOM MICHELL DID
who is this?
I AM THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
for real who is this and why are you on my blog?!
BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!!!!! (AND THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT)
Is this you Jonny?
NO
Jonny get of my blog!
MOM CHRISTMAS IS IN THREE DAYS CHILL OUT.
Jonny stop it you're not the christmas spirit!
BATMAN?
No! you aren't batman either.
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.....
yes I do you're my son! got off my blog please.
UGHHHH! FINE!

Yep...thanks so much Jonny. As you can tell...I did not edit his 'contribution'. Apparently, not much is sacred around here. He really is going to publish one day.