Finances

I was thinking today about Layne and finances. I was realizing that we are quite blessed. It's been tough. But, at the same time I feel grateful for the opportunity to continue to homeschool the kids. The situation would put us in so much debt right now. We could easily have piles of debt for both student loans and medical care. Instead we're able to move forward without those barriers. It feels freeing. (Is that a word?) I feel the freedom that comes from being out of debt. We still have a mortgage. But, that's pretty much it - which is good because it's still not like we have lots of money rolling in. We have enough. I will eventually be doing more to have an income. The kids know that they will also be doing more on that front as well.
I'm amazed that for how much Layne was able to work - which wasn't much - he was still able to provide for his family. I know that was important to him and I feel like he accomplished that. I know both of us thought that would look different. We thought the home we have now would just be a 'starter' home. We thought he was just starting to truly get off the ground with his career. It turns out that we were wrong. I think the fact that he did so many things to keep us out of debt has been so helpful. I know that the things he had in place when he died was also very helpful. (My dad has been kind enough to have some of his 'people' help out since Layne's passing. They are helping with financial advice, options, and investments.) Thanks Layne.

Kids Adjusting

As I've been thinking about things I'm grateful for this past week - I have been grateful that we homeschool. One of the things I love is that we could be together after Layne's death and funeral. We were able to process in a way that felt so much more natural and connected. I'm not sure how I would have rushed them off to school with the knowledge that they would be expected to concentrate on other things. I also know that they would have been expected to accomplish a few things in between attending school and going to bed at night. I don't think it would have been healthy to place the burden on them to just ignore their father's death and all of the thoughts and feelings that go along with it.
They seem to be managing relatively well. I don't think that would have happened in a classroom.

Wednesday Co-Op

9/30/15
After church on Sunday I just 'happened' to run into another homeschool mom. She's in a different ward and we really don't get a chance to talk very often. I told her about Layne. She told me about a homeschool co-op that her kids are attending. The details sounded great. There were qualified mothers taking on the whole thing. I would not need to teach anything. I would just be dropping the girls off. The topics sounded like something my daughters would be interested in pursuing. The cost was very minimal - pretty much just contributes to supplies. And, the location is just a couple of minutes away. It was also at a time when we could make it work. I think 'someone' might have been trying to tell me something. The viewing and funeral took up most of Sunday and Monday. I called the gal yesterday (Tuesday) to get to the contact info for one of the moms that was in charge. I emailed her and we got details taken care of right then. I took the girls over to experience their first time in the group. It was good that there were some familiar faces. Although, I think the girls would have managed otherwise as well. So, the girls will now be in a Wednesday morning co-op that will run until the middle of November.
I really felt like Layne was behind this one. I knew he thought it was a good idea to get the kids involved in things like this. I know that's part of the reason I acted on it. I know that's why I was able to have a clear mind as I thought about it and took action. My brain has been a little foggy lately.

A Day's Work

Layne spent 7.5 hours on our yard today. He's not very good at following directions when his wife lets him know that it's time to be done. The kids and I were out there during the afternoon. I kept hoping he would go in mostly because I was concerned about him and partly because I was ready to be done and knew I couldn't go in until he did. The last hour or so, he kept saying, "I need to be done.". I would agree with him - but, then he would still be outside. My list of concerns included him just plain being worn out, getting sunburned, and knowing that he has a 12 hour day tomorrow. He starts a clinical trial and it makes sense to me that he not be worn out before he starts. But apparently, my logic has nothing to do with it. I do have to say that our yard does look better. I'm also incredibly grateful that he worked so hard...even though I'm a bit nervous for him. I think he's going to be sore tomorrow morning.
The kids and I had the chance to see 'Race to the Moon' this morning with some other homeschool families. (You can click here to read more.) So, I already felt like we had played a bit while he worked. Maybe another reason I wanted him to not work so hard was because I felt a bit guilty for enjoying and play and our kids while he chose to slave away.

Celebrations

I mentioned that we celebrated when Layne finished 12 chemo treatments. Our family also celebrated last month when we finished the Book of Mormon (again...we really should keep track).
This month we have marked in simple ways Groundhogs Day and Chinese New Year. We are having some serious discussions about how to celebrate Valentine's Day. Well, at least the kids and I have done so...I'm not sure what Layne and I will be doing. (It depends on how 'romantic' he's feeling. I might just have to talk him into something...something simple I'm sure.) We still have President's Day and a child's birthday to celebrate later in the month.
We celebrated the 100th Day of School last month too. The kids were excited about making progress!
Layne heads to Houston again in another week or so - we'll see if there's anything to celebrate on that front after he's done with his appointments there.
P.S. A day later...I forgot to mention Mardi Gras...which is today! Layne and I will be going to the temple on Thursday and possibly out to lunch. (It's great that he has a 'flexible' schedule these days.)

Clues We Homeschool

Originally Written December 21, 2012

We have white boards and other school supplies in our front room.
We go to concerts in the middle of the 'school day'.
We plan our outings around when there will be fewer crowds.
We're used to people looking at us funny when we're out in public during the middle of the day.
We take breaks when we need them...not when the bell rings.
Our children like watching shows like 'American Ride', 'NOVA', and 'Mythbusters'.
A typical response when asked to join us; '...just one more page', or 'I'm almost done with the chapter.'.
We love all the free events/resources at the library. (We're a bit partial to free events in general.)
It's not unusual for our library cards to be 'maxed out'.
We love to go online and find out random (and not so random) information.
The kids love to pursue their own interests.
We read, write, and do math in real life ways. (Along with science, P.E., and art.)
There's no 'homework' in the evening.
We get excited about 'cool' resources.
We have our own inside jokes.
We get to be together.
Our family is stronger than it used to be.
We multi-task with hikes up the canyon or along the river taking in several curriculum topics.
It's amazing what kids learn when they don't even realize it.
 

Focus, Focus, Focus

I haven't been very focused today. I feel bad about that because I wasn't well yesterday. I haven't accomplished as much as needed this week. I was hoping that since yesterday was not productive, I would be able to plow through some things today. It hasn't happened yet. 

We had planned on meeting with some other homeschool families today to make some Christmas cards and winter decor (snowflakes). I was looking forward to it. But, somehow didn't feel like going after talking to Layne. I realized that wasn't fair to the kids. It also doesn't make sense to sit around and sulk. So, I told them about Layne and later asked their opinion of attending the festive outing. (It's geared toward the older kids and the younger kids get the benefit of having friends to associate with for an afternoon.) The decision was made to skip it this week and possibly make some cards on our own out of the materials we have here. I was glad I made them part of the decision. Other times, I'll just announce we're going when it comes to things like that and they always end up being glad we went. But, today I didn't have the energy to convince children that what they were about to do was going to be fun and exciting...even though my opinion was that it was going to be fantastic. I'm sure those who went had a fabulous time and came away with some cool creations.

Newest Development

We have more news. This time it was not about Layne's cancer...it was about his work.
Several people were laid off on Wednesday. Layne was asked into 'the office' and was told that they would not be able to match his disability pay anymore. (At least until things turned around financially for the company.) The employees met on Thursday and were assured that those that were there would all be staying. Later that afternoon, Layne spoke with the gal in HR. (She had been laid off the day before and will be staying through the month. She was going to talk with him on Wednesday, but was apparently a bit emotional and took the rest of the day off.) She explained a few more things and made the reality of the scenario sound much worse than it really is right now. She told Layne that he needed to take full time disability leave, that disability insurance would cover 60% of his salary, the Family Medical Leave Act will be terminated in a month and at that time, he could legally be laid off. The disability insurance would still be in place until his chemo was finished, but...with the possibility of being laid off in November...he might not have a job after his disability leave. We would need to sign up for Cobra for our health insurance (with a monthly payment). If he was lucky, he might still have a job and be able to return when the chemo treatments were completed. He asked if he could come in on Friday to finish up a couple of things. And, would working next week be a problem if he needed more time to complete a couple of things? (They're close to marketing the current product he's working on...it was quite possible he was going to need to work a few hours on the week-end in order to have everything ready for a group next week.) She told him that she would OK working on Friday with management...but, that he really needed to not come in the following week, or they could lay him off at that point. When he came home and told me about it. It sounded a little off. It was hard for me to believe some of it because this company is one of those 'just plain good people' kind of places. People are kind, give each other the benefit of the doubt and work well together. Moral is usually pretty high (except when there's a lay off). So, when he told me some of the news...I was a little mad. I couldn't believe they'd just say..."Go on, leave. And, make sure you take your stuff with you because you're probably not coming back." Seriously? They had always been so kind and accommodating. And now, they were kicking out the guy doing chemo! I then cried on his shoulder for about 30 seconds, and moved on pretty quickly. We talked just long enough for dinner to burn and the boys to finish their piano lessons with grandma while the girls were doing their 'calendar binders' with grandpa. (So great to have them here each week. We don't know what we're going to do when their mission is over.)
The real scenario came to light when Layne spoke with some of the management on Friday. Yes, he was asked to go on Disability Leave until his chemo is finished. It will be cheaper for them because his pay will come through the disability insurance instead of through the company. They have no intentions of laying him off in November. When Layne stated that detail, he kind of chuckled. Apparently, several of the others in management (some of Layne's closest friends at work) were all surprised when he asked about it. They told him that he was a great employee and needed him to come back so he could continue work on the project they're attempting to send to market. It's always nice to hear praise. He felt appreciated and relieved all at the same time.
So, the real deal is that he's going to be home for a few months. We'll be receiving 60% of his salary and we're thinking he'll still have a job in January (or February) when the doctors give him the green light for work after his chemo is complete.
We are very thankful. The reduced pay is not ideal. But, we've lived off less...not fun...but, we're thinking it's 'doable'. It will be similar to when we first moved into our home and Layne was doing a Post Doc. Right now, I'm glad we chose to purchase a home that fit with the salary of a Post Doc...instead of going with a salary that he 'could' be making at some point. So, instead of paying a little extra each month on the mortgage...we'll go back to just paying it off for the next few months.
A couple of items we talked about during that first conversation were the possible good things that could come out of this. Layne had the idea that maybe he doesn't have as long as we thought he had and this will be a good chance for him to spend time with the kids. I was glad we were homeschooling. The kids will actually be around for him to see. I also thought of the fact that he could help with some of the curriculum...math and science maybe. Oh...and if there are two people working on my 'to do' list, it might actually get done. Maybe. Layne was also aware that he needed to have a real plan for what he was going to accomplish. Otherwise, he feels like he'll squander too much time and regret it. (We went over some things today.) We're looking forward to some time together as a family. I almost wish there wasn't a need for it, but here we are. We also thought of the fact that I might be able to work on some 'income for the future' options. One of the guys at work to Layne that he could pick up with the homeschooling and I could start working. Hmm...not sure that's the first option I would go with...I don't quite see Layne and homeschooling four kids meshing.
Layne and I have different styles in just about everything...so, it'll be interesting to see how things work out. Maybe this is another opportunity for us to work together better. We're so used to taking on our own roles...should be interesting.

School!

We started our homeschool yesterday. It seems odd to think we're launching into another year. Life as usual. Layne is at work and I'm at home with the kids. It feels good.
Now I just need to actually be productive...yep, life as usual.:}