In the last post, I realized that we're used to getting not so great news. Sometimes numbers are too low and he's not able to get chemo, sometimes something comes up out of seemingly nowhere (like the possibility of skin cancer or a brain tumor), sometimes there are symptoms from the trial drug or affects of the chemo that aren't very fun...sometimes we find out we get to do things that aren't very fun (such as giving shots or de-accessing a port).
The list could get quite extensive. But, it seems the best thing to do is just move forward. There are times I feel like I've lost the ability to be shocked. I'm pretty even keel anyway. There are times I think about what I've just been told about my husband and think that most 'normal' wives might be freaking out. Or, at the very least holding back lots of tears until a more private moment. I cry the tears at times - but, it's usually not over a glitch in treatment. Sometimes it feels like it's just all in a days work. Sometimes I wonder why I might need to ask the dentist about TMJ because I'm not sure they can do much about the tightness in my jaw or the headaches that produces. (I also don't think my shoulders will ever be loose again.) Maybe I still need to figure out a strategy for stress. I think I'm going to go with more yoga.
I think you are totally normal. You have entered a new plane of existence, so to speak, and you are just used to what comes. It's fine. I was that way too after a while with my divorce. That being said, YES. Do some yoga, for crying out loud. Take care of yourself! xoxox
ReplyDeleteYES to yoga too. Did I tell you about doyogawithme.com? One of my favorite teachers is Nicky Jones, and she is a yoga therapist who specializes in working with people dealing with grief and loss, as well as stress, no doubt. You can search her name and choose one of her very relaxing yoga practices. I like to do them before going to bed and it helps me sleep so much more deeply. I highly recommend her! Also, speaking of TMJ, I have a suggestion for that tightness in the jaw. I finally learned (and accepted) a few years ago that I clench my jaw when I sleep (I do not grind--I clench). For several years now, I've been wearing a night guard (well, really, some whitening trays) to bed and it has made a huge difference...no more jaw pain, and nearly never a headache. I know you can't do anything about the real cause of your stress and the heavy burdens you carry, but maybe these little things could help just a little!!! Love you!
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