Work To Do

I just checked the numbers on the posts. There are a total of 578 posts. The counts are 291 that are published and 287 that are drafts. Umm...I have lots of work to do. I will eventually edit and publish all of the drafts. I also plan on adding photos. I know...such an original idea for a blog. So, lots of work to do.
I started editing a post today and started feeling a bit weepy. I hope I make it through.:} This can be tough stuff to remember and mull over as I get the wording worked out. I could take awhile.

Three Act Play

I feel like my life is a play with three scenes. There is an act before I met and married Layne. Act two is life with Layne. And, the final act is life after Layne. The first two acts have both been good in their own ways. I've been blessed with some great life experiences and lessons. I don't know how things will play out in the third act. I do know that it will be okay. Somehow, the story will continue.

Cuddling

I realize this is a random thing to post. I just happened to see it this morning. It brought to mind two things.
1. I miss the physical part of a marriage relationship.
2. I recognized how blessed I was to have had that in the first place. I had something that many people in our current world do not have the opportunity to experience. Obviously, marriage is a lot more than just someone to cuddle with for an hour a week. I had all of that.

So...even though I miss him and I miss us...today I'm remembering the saying about how it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I'm feeling grateful my earthly experience has included being married to and making covenants with someone I love. I'm even more grateful that I know I will see him again. An eternal marriage is infinitely better than whatever this guy has to offer.

Saw this video and then posted this to LDS Widows and Widowers.
This guy gets paid to cuddle strangers video from Elite Daily.

Update

I realized I haven't given much of an update. It seems like there was awhile when I just felt like I couldn't get anything done...wasn't able to make things happen. I feel like I've been doing better with that lately. I have been able to do better about having a plan and accomplishing at least something every day. 

I've also been able to do a bit more with routines. Things that help me take care of me and take care of the kids...and all the other details that go along with being in charge of everything around here.

The kids have been helpful in their own ways. I'm so appreciative of them and all that they bring to our family. I'm hoping we'll be able to continue moving forward.

More To Come

I have quite a few posts that I haven't finished/edited/published yet. It's close to half of the posts that I've started. There are hundreds. I guess I better get busy doing more writing and publishing. It seems like there are so many things to say and not enough time to say them all. I'm going to make more of an attempt to get the current and new stuff written. I'm also toying with the idea of starting a blog that's more about being a widow. It feels like a different perspective. Maybe it's time.

Hammock+Dr. Pepper=Layne

Jacob is out in the hammock drinking a Dr. Pepper. I wonder if Layne is watching. He would be proud. Layne was the one that thought of getting a hammock way back when we lived in La Jolla student housing. We would be able to see the ocean from the back porch where our hammock was hung. We took the same hammock with us to Utah. Again, it was hung (weather permitting) behind our townhouse. There were nights summer concerts happened at Red Butte Garden when we'd put the kids to bed, lay in the hammock, and listen to the concert. When we moved to our current home - we found a place for the hammock in the back yard. After years of use, we were in need of a new one. I'm sure Layne found a deal somewhere. The kids and I still like to go and use the hammock for reading, observing nature, napping, and thinking...or just being. I think of Layne often when I see the hammock. I remember the times we shared a hammock and enjoyed what the local life had to offer.

The other part of my first sentence that made me smile was that Layne's favorite soda was Dr. Pepper. I'm not sure most people knew that. We don't really do the soda thing very often. I love that the kids and I will choose the same occasionally. It's a bit of a family favorite. 

So...the hammock and Dr. Pepper...Layne would be proud...or at least notice with a smile. I hope he's doing that today.

Point At You

This is another one that reminds me of Layne. He introduced the song to me. I just had to do the link instead of the actual video...wouldn't work for me. It's a Justin Moore song called 'Point at You'. He told me I was better at representing us in public than he was...I was the one that made us look good...the 'better half'. I don't know about that. It's fun to have the memory of being on a date and having this song come on...he would sing it in his twangy voice and point at me on cue.