His Blog
Friday, October 2, 2015
Time to Remember
Layne's new driver's license came today. I cried. He looks healthy in his picture. The eyes are blue...the cheeks are full and his face has color. I miss him. I'm trying hard to remember the guy in the picture. I keep remembering the guy that had lost so much weight that his eyes were sunken in and his cheeks were angular because of the bones that were so evident. I remember the look of pain. I need to bring back the memory of the look he had in his eye when he was laughing or smiling. I would also be up for remembering his look for me and only me. I'm trying to reach back. It will take some time.
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That is just too much. I'm so sorry that you got that in the mail! You can take all the time you need. Love to you!
ReplyDeleteI've always said one of the reasons divorce is hard is because the most recent memories you are left with are the bad ones- the fighting, the distance, the silence, the feeling of abandonment, etc. It's clear that the death of a spouse after a prolonged illness is in the same realm, with the sickness slowly wearing him down to a shell of himself. Maybe someday you will cherish that driver's license as a token of who he was. Maybe you will throw it away. But the good memories will come back. I pray for that for you, that you will have his "look" imprinted on your memory forever.
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