Being Present

This week-end. I remember being in Houston last year. It seems odd that a year ago we were just starting to travel to Texas for Layne's treatments. I was thinking about how I missed going to the Women's Session of General Conference with my girls. They had a grandmother here for them. But, I missed going with them and sharing that experience. There are other things I'm remembering missing out on as well with the kids. I'm glad we're in town this year. The traveling got old pretty quickly. I like being with the kids. I want to be present for them. I know they need the support. There are times I still miss out on the fun things my kids get to do because others have been kind enough to take them places and do things with them while I'm here with Layne. I'm glad they're getting to experience things. I just miss experiencing those things with them. I also feel like there are times when I need and want to do more with them and Layne has a more immediate need - or there are other items that need to be taken care of immediately. I need to figure out a way to be more present with the kids.

Future Plans

We dropped the boys off tonight for an event at the library. The girls had come with us because Layne was at a meeting. When we started back home, one of the girls mentioned that she missed the boys already. We started talking about spending time with family...and, the fact that all of them will eventually move out when they are adults. They weren't sure about the idea. I told them that their Dad and I would miss them when they were gone. I was reminded that by that time Layne will be gone and it would just be me that missed having the kids around that I get to spend time with each day. It sounded a bit lonely. I didn't mention anything to them about it. They might have asked why Dad would be gone and I'd have to explain about cancer and dying again. Instead, the conversation was turned to the future and the dreams they have for it. It'll be interesting to see what they choose.