Missing Layne

I wrote a couple of thoughts and shared some music on another blog today. You can go check it out if you'd like. I'm doing something to focus on Christ everyday of 2016. We'll see how it goes. Today's music made me think of Layne and how it would be really great if he were still here. I was also feeling so very grateful for the knowledge that I'll see him again. It feels like it's going to be such a long time. But, somehow I'll try to make it without too many tears.

Musical Messages

This. On the way home from taking the boys to Debate the other day this song came on the radio. It was the first time I paid attention to the lyrics. It felt like Layne's song for me - especially the beginning - I might have been trying not to cry too much - there were tears behind the sunglasses - but, someone had to drive - I didn't catch some of the lyrics at the end. I was already feeling like he was close. I had an experience earlier where I felt like he was speaking to me. There were also other thoughts I had when I was in the temple earlier in the day that helped me to be grateful for him and our commitments. I thought it fit in well with who Layne is...him and his music.

Waking up

woke up late this morning. the day started while layne and i stayed in bed. he was still asleep. i just wanted to lay next to him for a bit. i don't know how many more times i'll be able to do that. i watch him in pain and know that his days are numbered. i don't like it - but, it's not my decision to make. tears come quickly these days.

Rainy Day

We've been pretty dry around here. It's been hot and we've had several fires in the area. Pretty scary stuff. I was a bit nervous about my kids, fireworks and all the dry grass around...especially when I thought about all those that weren't in their homes because the fires were too close.
Rainy summer days are great for getting things done inside and reading cozily with the kids. Layne's been at work. So, it's a great day to regroup and be with just the kids again. It's a also a great day for tears.
Layne had scans taken on Tuesday (7/3). He's been hoping for results. He talked with Dr. Garrido (oncologist) and then gave me a call. He didn't get very far in his conversation with the doctor before his phone had cut out. A bit frustrating for him...considering Dr. Garrido had just said that he did have a minute to answer some questions. Bummer. Our lives are sort of a waiting game, what's another hour or so? He had called me to tell me all about it...that, and they didn't have the result back yet. He shared something that was unexpected, so I was a bit shaken up by it.