Started to tear up at breakfast - not even sure what I was thinking about at the time...Oh wait. It's coming to me. The girls and I were attempting to plan for the next couple of weeks. Maybe we'll get a few festive things in yet. That got me thinking about last year. I remembered that this time last year we were already leaving town every other week-end for Layne to have treatments in Houston. I remembered how I had missed some of the festivities the kids were enjoying here at home. I was grateful others helped out with that - I was also feeling sad about missing out on activities with the kids. I still love to see them enjoy what they're doing and being part of making some of that happen. (As they get older they take on more of the planning themselves.) I remember feeling like I was missing out and the kids were missing me (and Layne, of course.) It seems like it was so long ago.
I realized that this year is so much different. There's no more travel. I'm in town and able to spend time with the kids. (When I make that happen - another post.) We have a different schedule. But mostly, Layne is gone.
I think you are wise to look for the silver linings...you DO get to spend time with the kids, and that is so awesome. Of course, nothing could ever make up for the fact that Layne is gone. And you are entitled to focus on that as much as you need to!!!! I'm continuing to pray for you to feel him close by and to feel peace and comfort. Hugs!
ReplyDelete