Not Yet

I slept on the futon for awhile last night. I wasn't ready to say good night and head upstairs yet. There are times I just don't want to leave. I feel like we're supposed to be doing something more while Layne's still around. It feels like we should be doing more to make memories...or say and ask things that we haven't yet. It feels like we're supposed to make an effort to make sure we don't have regrets when he's gone. Maybe I'm just not ready to have him gone yet. Maybe I'm not sure how to cope and make things work without him. Maybe I'm not ready for all the unknowns. Maybe I'm not ready to go it alone. Maybe I have a hard time saying good night because I'm not sure I'll have a chance to say good morning a few hours later. I also have a hard time not knowing if he'll need help during the night.