I haven't been feeling very well the last few days. I'm wanting to be done. I had some great ideas for things we were going to get done this week with our learning, getting organized, and family fun. Monday we had a decent start, but we've gone downhill from there. The kids and Layne have kind of done their own thing (including New Years Eve) while I have been a bit boring. Layne even took the kids swimming this afternoon. I'm glad they were able to go do something fun. I'm ready to be done with being boring and non-productive.
I had a thought about Layne being bored because he's just not doing as much as he used to - and the reason he isn't is because of his health. I don't envy him. I'm glad he's had the chance to put a few hours of work in each week...especially since supporting our family financially is important to him. It's just hard not to be able to do what you're used to doing. The ability of being productive is such a blessing. Here's to hoping we return to that as soon as possible.
I hope you are feeling better by now. It is amazing how even a few days of sickness create more empathy and compassion for those with chronic illnesses. I have had similar thoughts. I realized that much of my self-esteem is tied to how much I can accomplish every day, and when I can't accomplish much--even with a good excuse like illness--I get really down on myself. How much we DO really isn't who we ARE (see Elder Robbins' talk from a few years ago), but I think it's hard to separate the two. A man in our ward has had Lyme Disease for about 12 years and has had to completely change his perspective on what he can achieve each day. Sometimes just getting out of bed and being loving to our families is enough. Get better soon! xo
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